Join or Die

As I walked onto campus this morning for my 1st class as a graduate student I thought to myself, “Dang, this really is an international school!” because campus was swarming with Asians. I then realized that it was only 7:30 and my white and unmotivated, undergrad self would have never(except for that one time) signed up for an 8am. 

As my 3 hour long class got out for our all university Lunch period, I was suddenly overwhelmed by envy. I stepped out on the side walk and was quickly almost skateboarded over by what I am sure was Jake Gyllenhals stunt double wearing a tank that read “join or die.” Then all the sorostitutes began strutting my way.

Deep breathe, I’m home.Image

It’s rush week here at USC and all the lovely greeks(not international students, just white, usually drunk, philanthropists) are out and about sporting their matching tanks and booty shorts. Someone once told me that TCU is a “fluffy” school, meaning we were good at country club sports, well manicured, just overall good looking and defined by Webster as “lacking substance, depth, or seriousness.” Rude.

Well, if TCU is “fluffy” then USC is “Plush” defined by webster as, “richly luxurious and expensive.” Which actually doesn’t need a new kid cuddle definition, because that is exactly what it is. The Strats (sororities and frats) are blowing my mind because every single member looks like a character in 90210…fitting right?

As I stare at them enviously and hope that I can meet a baby delta to take a pic of their cute shirts, I am reminded of the amazing years I had at TCU and my deep delta love I have for all my girls back in Tejas. With that, I am nostalgic and a little sad, but know that y’all will rep our frogs well this weekend with your fellow dolphins, pansies, pines and pearls (or whatever stage of the delta being they are..I fell asleep during I’m not really sure..woops). 

Jake’s body double is right though, to reach maximum enjoyment of undergrad everyone really should, “join or die.”


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