secret to being a 20 something: there’s no secret

Over and over again I see these articles about things you should do/know/visit in your 20s and  think to myself,  “oh my gosh, that hard thing {I moved across the country}  happened to me too or I think {I’m smarter than a coworker} every day or I should probably learn how to {obligtory thing that only women born in the 50s know how to do},” like these articles inspire me to think. The reason that people send these articles around or post them on {insert all social medias} is because they are all true and every 20 something is dying to know the secret to being a 20 something.

Even though I don’t have the secret, I am an expert at being a 20 something since I have been doing this whole thing for half a decade. So, here’s my response/addition to all those articles out there and my list of reminders/ways to get through this season of life.

Embrace Options: As a 20 something you have options. You have the option to move away, you have the option to change jobs, you have the option to have a child, you have the option to go back to school or finish school, you have the option join a new friend group, or  you have the option to start your own business. Instead of running from these options, embrace them(don’t worry mom, I will avoid the child option for a few more years).  Uncertainty is ok (more than ok), but also understanding that you most likely have very little tying you down and there is the option of changing something if you don’t like it. This gives you power. Power as a 20 something may scare all the 50 somethings you know, but isn’t that kind of exciting. Who knows, maybe challenging yourself with one of these options will make everything else fall into place.

Screen shot 2013-11-13 at 9.35.28 PMGo Explore: Traveling is my favorite thing I’ve done so far in my life. Go all over the world to meet people that you have never thought you would meet, especially Australians. Go see things that you might not ever have expected that you would see. Go eat and drink like you have never done before without counting calories or looking back. Do this because seeing other cultures really teaches you something.   Also, go explore your own city. There are things to be done other than, The Capital Bar and Jackson Watering Hole(even though on a Saturday night it may not feel like it).

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Find a Framily: I’ve  spoken about the importance of friends who become family before, but as a20 something I don’t think I would make it with out my framily. These are the people who send you cookies when they know you need them and tell you to stop eating cookies when you just cant stop yourself. Hold them dear to your heart and don’t let them go.

Find Faith: Whether finding faith for you starts with finding a group of people you trust, attending your first church service(in years or ever) or in a crystal(I think this is weird, but you do you), faith is essential to being a 20 something. You need to understand that the world is bigger than youself and that you aren’t in control of everything. 2 Corithians 5:7 says, “we live by faith, not by sight.” The idea of needing to see it to beileve it can’t work as a 20 something because we don’t know what the future hold for us. Well maybe you crystal people have a ball that shows the future, but for the rest of us having a faith in something greater than ourselves really is the only way to go. So find your path. If you aren’t sure how, try lots of things, you’ll find the right thing for you, I have faith in that.

IMG_6359Ride solo: Coming from the girl who invented the word extrovert, I’m pretty sure you never thought I would say this, but spend time alone. As a 20 something you want to be a part of things, but if you haven’t discovered what you truly believe in or love, then it’s hard to support others in what they love or believe in. Learn about yourself, reflect on what you’ve learned as a 20 something as of yet and think about who you really want to be, because that’s what were trying to do is a 20 something right?

Disconnect: Talk to the people you love. I don’t mean text them or send them a snap chat(even though I love these too), call them or better yet, schedule hanging out with them into your week. If I have learned anything from moving away it is this, embrace the time you have with your loved ones and actaually intentionally have conversations. Also, I love me a good snap, gram, and fb pic, but taking the time to enjoy what happening or the beauty around you instead of only wanting to share it with others is powerful too. Disconnect, it won’t kill you, I promise.

Mask yourself 1st: My wonderful father has been telling me this for years and as an aspiring social worker it’s not so easy for me, but take care of yourself 1st. On an airplane, they don’t tell you to put the mask on your unable neighbor 1st, they tell you to mask yourself. The reason they do this is because if you don’t have a solid air supply, you won’t be able to help at the best of you ability later if you need to. To be your best, you have to take care of yourself. If this means interview for the same higher position as a best friend at work, you should do it. For some of you it might just mean, sticking to your daily routine and getting a drink with a friend AFTER you have your nightly work out. Being a 20 something is a time in our lives to be selfish. **Don’t be a shitty person, just take care of yourself!

IMG_5422Snail mail: Remind others that you love them-all the time. The best way to do this is through the mail, it’s not instant and it takes time, but when you see a loved ones hand writing next to the anthropologie catolog and bills in your mailbox, your heart will be filled to the fullest. post cards say that you are thinking of someone even when you aren’t in the same city as them and thank you notes aren’t just for weddings and baby showers. If you are grateful for something, a thank you note can be sent, enjoyed and cherished.

Stranger no Danger: Today when you checked out at Target (buying way more than you went into buy), did you actually talk to the person that was checking you out or did you look at your instagram the whole time? The person that checked you out is a person too. Those are the people that never get looked at in this day and age. As people, they deserve your smile and maybe a solid conversation.  Even if these conversations mean nothing to you, they can be so significant to that person. They are serving you, so try to serve them a large plater of love, because you never know who they are, who they know, what they will become or when they may help you (not just buy scanning those earrings you didn’t need).

Well, that’s all folks. Taylor Swift makes 22 sound awesome and Blink 182 says, “no one likes you when you’re 23,” but I say we only have 10 years to be in our 20s, so we might as well enjoy them. Also, heres the good news, I still have 5 solid years and 1 day to figure out being a 20 something and working on all of the above. I’ll keep you posted on how it goes.

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