Big Win is Too Little

Confession: I get emotionally connected to people on TV shows.

This is a continuous issue for me, When Kelly Kaposki and Zach Morris got together in the last moments of senior prom on Saved by the Bell,  I felt like I had won the Bayside High school babe; I wept when Izzy was diagnosed with cancer on Grey’s Anatomy, about the same about as I did when it happened in my own family; and I was horrified with 2nd hand awkwardness when Nick told Jess he loved her by accident last week on New Girl, as if I witnessed it 1st hand.

I have been known to say things like, “I get connected to TV characters like a fat girl with no friends.” In retrospect, that is not a very nice thing to say, it truly takes all my claims that feeling for these people(actors) is compassion and throws it out the window!

All season I have been a strict follower of the Biggest Loser(I clearly work really hard in school). I swooned over Dolvetts muscles(left), cried when Tonya told her abuse story and cheered Taylor, Jennifer’s overweight daughter to health. I am was attached.

As I watched the finale last night I felt as though I was a proud family member to everyone of the contestants as they presented amazing weight loss numbers and stories of their “2nd chance at life.”

And then my heart broke a little bit when Rachel, a contestant that I had been cheering for all season and the crowned ‘Biggest Loser’, stepped out:

My face was similar to these trainers: 

She went from 260lbs to 105lbs, Rachel lost a whole Anna and I am not a small person. This is when, I hope, The Biggest Loser will take a step towards realizing that their trainers are not counselors. They are uncovering some SERIOUS trauma for A LOT of people.

Here is something that I want to make very clear in this post. I am by no means attacking Rachael, I just think with her BIG win, she got TOO little. In my not so clinical opinion I would say that she has some deeper control issues and has been using food as a way to control, before BL it was too much food and after BL it is not enough food. There is always a message that comes across the screen at the end that says something about doctors and supervision blah blah blah, but never anything that talks about the mental stability of these, clearly troubled people. No NBC, this isn’t a plug to hire me (you can if you want), but I do think it’s time to realize counselors/social workers are needed on your show.

As I watched Rachael win, worried that she would break when someone hugged her too tight, I thought about how lucky I was to have never faced a serious eating disorder and that I have always been ok (not thrilled, but ok) to be rocking Kardashian-like curves. Yes, in middle school there were tears when all the cool girls wouldn’t let me into the “itty bitty titty committee,” because puberty seriously

HAPPENED to my chest me. Yes, they have seen me rollin, like this chick (left) after a solid queso binge that I didn’t feel so good about. Yes, I have claimed that I may be more successful in the dating scene if I was as attracted to the large black men who were innately attracted to my behind. But, I have never truly struggled with my weight and all the issues that go along with that and for that I am so thankful.

I have very close friends who have struggled with weight gain and loss. Those of you loosing weight or who have lost weight the healthy way KEEP IT UP, I am cheering for you and believe that you can be healthy(the healthy way)! Those of you struggling with weight loss, it is a very real issue that more people than we think struggle with. Don’t worry, there are more people like you and even more people out there who can help you better yourself in a healthy way! (I know multiple people training to help literally RIGHT NOW as I am writing this blog and not listening in class).

Anyway, TV characters, real friends, people I don’t even know…I think you are all beautiful (inside and out)….see, maybe that compassion is still within me.